White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
