Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
