we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
