Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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