I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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