the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
