Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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