This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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