it wasn't lemon gatorade
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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