I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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