If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize