So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Can I color on your dick again?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
