The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
