the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize