Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
