i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
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You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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