She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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