dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
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after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
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I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
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