I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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