You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.