thanks...oh and i got my period
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.