Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You smell like stripper and shame
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic