I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Dating After Heartbreak
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?