Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize