i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
