glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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