Are we in a gay sports bar?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
