That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize