I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.