Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.