Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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