I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize