He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize