We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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