i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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