Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
