white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
