he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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