and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
