Got a toothbrush?
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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