Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
