ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
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After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
sex in a hospital.. check
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.