oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal