I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.