I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
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amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
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I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead