I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.