I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.