you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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