why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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