Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
