I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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