i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I look better un-naked...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
