So gin and wine won't be happening again
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize