No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
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The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize