OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I need to sanitize my soul.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
wow bdsm is so cute
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
