I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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