Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
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does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
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Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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