we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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