Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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